All about Wife or What’s going on right now
Hello people not reading this. I was thinking maybe a bit of background would be good. Husband figured out last night that we first opened our marriage at the end of 2005, so it’s been about 2.5 years that we’ve been open. Like I said in the opening post, we started with swinging. I had mulled the idea over for quite some time before bringing it up to Husband. What I really wanted to try was polyamory, but swinging seemed like a much less intimidating start. And it was.
However, as I said before, swinging wasn’t fulfilling to me. Ever since I was little, the idea of only loving one person just seemed strange to me. Cinderella being carried away by Prince Charming never to want another man again? Ridiculous. I’ll be the first to say that I’m a cynic where love is concerned. Part of this comes from the very practical view of love that I was raised with, and part comes from the experience of being married at a young age. However, cynic or not, I do believe that love is a real thing and I want to exchange it with more than one person. I don’t understand why I wouldn’t do this. I don’t know why society thinks it’s such a bad thing to love multiple partners.
The emotional connection that I want to have with other partners has always been the most difficult thing for Husband to come to terms with. He has a very real fear of losing me to someone else, so we have been at a stand-still as we inch our way along in our open marriage. That is, until this last weekend. On Friday, for the first time ever, Husband told me and (let’s call him) Ken that he is all right with us having an emotional relationiship. I don’t know yet if Ken and I will go that route, but it’s nice to have the opportunity. Hopefully our test run goes well, if it goes at all.
-Wife
July 10, 2008 at 3:55 pm
I absolutely understand what you’re saying. It’s very difficult not to form some sort of…connection (not sure if that’s the word I’m looking for) with someone that you swing with. There are so many people in the world, it does seem stupid to think that this ONE person is really the ONE and only person you should be with. It’s hard to stay in the frame of mind that has always been pushed upon me…it’s a sin to be married and want/do things with other people. I feel guilty sometimes for thinking about what I’d like to do with another guy, because I know my husband doesn’t want me to be alone with another person. I think Ken’s former fear of losing you is what my husband is dealing with now. Anyway, point being, I get what you’re saying.