Odd jealousy
Wife has no problem getting to know other people. I don’t have that ability. I generally don’t know how to talk to girls, or to anyone for that matter. Her abilities in this manner are a huge source of jealousy for me. I’m not jealous of her being with other people, I am jealous of the fact that there are other people in her life that she can do things with. I’m jealous for the reason that I don’t have what she has. I love her very much, I know she loves me and isn’t going to stop. I still feel jealous because there aren’t others in my life. I don’t have any friends here, nor do I have anything more than friends. The only other thing close to that is a couple we play with occasionally, but that’s not the same. I know it’s completely irrational and I can’t help myself from feeling this way. I don’t know what I can do, or if there’s anything that can be done.
July 19, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Are you jealous or are you envious? The two words are often used interchangeably but they are not the same. And envy is not always negative. If you are envious of what she is (outgoing and easy to make friends) and this motivates you to do something about finding it for yourself, then that would be a positive outcome. She isn’t taking friends away from you, after all.
Your exact comment could be made in a totally non-poly situation, she has more friends than you and you are feeling left out. The obvious response is “Well get out there and meet people!” What is it that is keeping you from doing just that? Reframe the problem so the solution is something within your control.